Dill Werner

Yesterday, I saw a re-post of a chalkboard sign that was taken outside of a bookstore. It listed “Women + Books News,” which included a list of female authors in SFF. I was thrilled. One of my favorite authors scored a well-earned seven-figure deal with TOR. An author from my agency won her second Hugo back-to-back. But then…my heart sank and I heard that evil dysphoric voice whispering in my ear: This will never include you. You’re non-binary trans*. I don’t fit. It would be easy to have lists say “Female and Non-Binary Authors.” However, the cisgaze means cis people don't think about these things. They don't think about  us,  the third genders. I'm not saying this solely for my comfort. More young people are identifying under the non-binary umbrella. We need to set an example for teens and young adults and provide a safe environment where they can express their gender without fear of exclusion. I personally want to set an example for my younger readers. It

I've tried to make myself scarce with good reason. I'm eyeball-deep in edits on the Adult Fantasy (aka the circus book) while my first YA manuscript is out on subs. For those who don't know, this means my agent submitted it editors at publishing houses. This is kind of like querying an agent but more detailed and polished. You send in your pitch, full manuscript, some other information, then wait. And wait. And wait. Editors are currently reading the manuscript and will get back to us with their decision. They can reject, make an offer, ask us to revise or submit something else in the future. We won't know until it happens. That's where I am on that. Meanwhile, I'm trying to get the queer af circus book down to 130,000 words so we can make it as marketable as possible. I'm all about that marketing. (Who would've thought?) The highest word count (WC) was--and I'm not joking--153k. Right now, I'm at 133.1k. I started editing this round at 139

Soon, I’ll have to get a new passport. In the United States, I am not allowed to declare my nonbinary gender on legal documents, or any forms, to be honest. It’s all binary—male or female. My trans* binary friends can have their gender markers changes to reflect their correct gender, but I am not afforded this privilege. I, simply put, am not recognized. Like so many, I am misgendered on a daily basis. I go into the streets, plastered in buttons and laced with necklaces that declare my pronouns to be they/them and my ID as genderqueer. My armor, meant to protect, fails me. The voices echo, chanting, “Ma’am,” “Miss,” “she/her,” like bells I cannot silence. My brain screams for me to correct them. Tell them who you are . That comes at the high cost of possibly being assaulted or having to give an entire lecture on what the f— I am. A person. I want to be a person, devoid of your gender biases, your expectations wrapped up in pink and blue ribbons. I am purple, white, and green. I am

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee My rating: 5 of 5 stars I've been thinking of how I want to review this book for some time now. It's literally changed how I intend to write queer YA. From page one, I was gushing to friends and authors about how we're introduced to the main character's unapologetic bisexuality. Some YAs toe the line with talking about sex while Monty knows damn good what he wants from life, and that includes a stiff, er, drink. Monty's voice is so strong and detailed, something I fear is missing from more recent releases. Lee does a superb job of transporting the reader to each new location. I never doubted her knowledge or questioned the authenticity of any character's voice. Everything felt real, vivid, and vibrant. This is an author that knows their stuff. Period. Lee thrusts the reader into some scandalous and often times emotionally jarring situations, like how abusive Monty's father is

Now that I'm out as a genderqueer person, I'm revisiting my review of BAD BOY by Elliot Wake to give content and trigger warnings for other folks. This is a trans book that contains detailed descriptions of what it means to transition from female to male written by someone who has undergone the process. If you aren't comfortable reading about these details, walk away. If you feel this might be too voyeuristic for you, walk away. If it will bring up to many thoughts or feelings of dysphoria, walk away. If hearing about TERFs and non-trans acceptance by family and friends is harmful to you, walk away. This book was influential in my life, but that's because I was in the right mindset to read it. I'm usually the one doing the vetting for others. I can handle a lot. I can handle dark and angry. If you can't, there's no problem in that. Take care of yourself and put this one aside. If you have issues with any of the following, please reconsider reading this boo

Content Warning: discussions of self-harm and cutting I carved the mark. Over and over again, I carved into my skin with X-Acto knives and clipped off razor blades so the white scars would stand out against my flesh and remind me why I was hurting, why I was seeking relief in pain. The deepest marks sit on my left forearm, clean little lines intersecting one another. Those clean lines led to years of messy rehabilitation, therapy for mental illness. I was borderline, self-destructive. I was bi-polar and reckless. They were right. I wanted to hurt myself because the world moved too fast then too slow, it made me too anxious, too depressed. The only thing I could control was food and pain. Not eating and bleeding. Those were my comforts.