Skip to main content

Nonbinary Biases

Soon, I’ll have to get a new passport. In the United States, I am not allowed to declare my nonbinary gender on legal documents, or any forms, to be honest. It’s all binary—male or female. My trans* binary friends can have their gender markers changes to reflect their correct gender, but I am not afforded this privilege. I, simply put, am not recognized.

Like so many, I am misgendered on a daily basis. I go into the streets, plastered in buttons and laced with necklaces that declare my pronouns to be they/them and my ID as genderqueer. My armor, meant to protect, fails me. The voices echo, chanting, “Ma’am,” “Miss,” “she/her,” like bells I cannot silence.

My brain screams for me to correct them. Tell them who you are. That comes at the high cost of possibly being assaulted or having to give an entire lecture on what the f— I am. A person. I want to be a person, devoid of your gender biases, your expectations wrapped up in pink and blue ribbons. I am purple, white, and green. I am a muffled cry, begging to be released.

I am neither.

I am the in between.

I can be nothing other than me.

I let it cut me down, let it add to the hurt, the doubt, the pain, the insecurity and dysphoria. My identity is ignored because people take things for face value. They see femme features and immediately equate that to being a woman. I’m not. I was assigned the incorrect gender at birth and raised to believe there was no other choice but to be allocishet. I will spend the rest of my life dealing with these mistakes.

Being trans* and nonbinary is like living in this nightmare where people are constantly trying to convince you that you are the wrong gender. Imagine you were a man, but people automatically address you as “she” and insist you’re a woman based on your long hair or delicate features. “I’m a man,” you’d insist, knowing they were wrong. “Many men have long hair.” No matter how many times you said it, the facts wouldn’t be good enough, not valid enough for them, those afflicted with the cisgaze.

I’ve never felt comfortable being called “she” and knew “he” wasn’t right, either. Until recently, I didn’t have the terminology to express myself fully. Language is ever-changing. It’s part of my job as an author to keep up with appropriate queer terminology. Before that, I was a Safe Zone partner who did the same thing. I’m lucky to live in a time where my identity is readily available to me.

No one will take that away or police who I am. They can’t. Only I know how I feel inside. I am a trans* genderqueer, demisexual-panromantic individual. I am the in between of the in between, everything gray and undefined.

And I am perfect just the way I am.

Comments

  1. A Little Food For Thought:

    https://notesonfreedom.com/2017/05/31/gender-neutral-identity-and-the-pronoun-obsession/

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review: JERKBAIT by Mia Siegert

Jerkbait by Mia Siegert
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

JERKBAIT is a gripping and beautifully written story that starts off strong and doesn’t let go until the final epilogue. Even then, you’ll be in tears, wishing it didn’t end. Mia Siegert granted me a copy of the Audible audiobook, which I highly recommend everyone check out. I loved it so much that I immediately downloaded the Kindle e-book from Amazon.

I’m a huge fan of LGBTQ+ books that aren’t strictly “issue books.” Mia Siegert takes LGBTQ+ themes, brings them to light, but makes the novel about so much more than the issues of homophobia and coming out. JERKBAIT deals with racism, predators, first loves, gay stereotypes, homophobia in sports, targeted bullying, fake friends, parental pressure to succeed, sibling rivalry, and so much more.

I’d been walking unnoticed in Robbie’s flattened path ever since. Those fourteen minutes stayed between us like a wall. Me on the side with the shadow. I didn’t have to think about him except when th…

22 nonbinary creators you need to keep an eye out for

I'm thankful to be featured in a Cultress article about nonbinary creators! Cellie knows my love of all things pickles. Pickles and circuses, that's my signature!

22 nonbinary creators you need to keep an eye out for

I'm most known for the unreleased "circus book," pitched as Cirque du Soleil with magic and an all-queer, international cast. I also make it a point to include at least three pronouns and genders in each book and actively include disabled characters like myself.

The list also includes Mia Sieger, author of Jerkbait, who is my agency sibling and bigender. We've become CP (critique partners) and fast friends since I signed. My agent is her agent's agent. See how that works?
Thank you to Cultress, article author Ceillie Simkiss, and everyone involved with Nonbinary November #nbnovember for spreading some nonbinary love!

Book Review: Black Iris by Elliot Wake

Black Iris by Leah Raeder
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Dear Reader, if you’re searching for a story about a down-and-out little queer girl coming-of-age and blossoming as she discovers her sexuality in college, then look somewhere else. This is not the candy-coated New Adult love story for you. BLACK IRIS isn’t a love story. It’s a revenge story. And it’s about the girl who took charge and got exactly what she wanted. But maybe what she wanted just wasn’t enough.


BLACK IRIS takes place over alternating timelines, which are meticulously crafted to the point of perfection. They switch between Laney Keating’s senior year of high school to her freshman year of college. At college, she meets Blythe McKinney and Armin Farhoudi, two upperclassmen who know the ins and outs of the club scene at Umbra. We see how the trio first meets and how the relationship boundaries are drawn. You’re left questioning throughout the novel if the relationships are real or empty. Do these people care about each other…