Skip to main content

Gender Questioning- with Tons of Book References!

Still writing over here! When I started writing ZIRKUS, I wanted to have a character who was questioning their gender. I've had trans characters and characters who were questioning their sexuality, but not fully questioning their genders before. In order to do this, I needed to dig in, pull up my sleeves, and do my favorite thing--research!

I thought I’d share some of my favorite sources. I'm not going to post the scholarly articles because they're rather dry and, well, I was an ILL assistant for four years. So I know all about copyright violations. Sorry, not sorry.

Many people find themselves stepping back and questioning their assigned birth gender. Is this really right for me? Am I supposed to be in this body? Don't panic. Take a breath. First, your feelings are valid. They have worth--just like you. They deserve to be acknowledged. Don't push them away. Embrace your feelings at your own pace and try not to be overwhelmed by all of the information that's out there. There is a lot, trust me.



I’ve made a Goodreads list, which anyone can contribute to. It’s a list of books to help people who are questioning their gender identities and want to read about the journies of other people/characters. Currently, the list includes trans and genderqueer characters (other genders will be added when they are found).

If you’re looking for resources and safe places to find things like definitions on different genders or how to approach your loved ones with your new identity, well I have information on that, too!
Human Right's Campaign’s list of LGBTQ Resources

http://genderspectrum.org  Is a very accepting, easy to understand website that has good information on all spectrums of gender. Here is their article on gender questioning.

reachout.com is also a great source for articles. They have fact sheets on gender identity, debunking LGBTQ myths, and pronouns

Safe Zone Project doesn’t offer full online training anymore, but they still have information about sensitivity, terms, and how to approach people. Check to see if your school or university has Safe Zone ALLYs! I was a certified ALLY for four years in my previous job, which meant that people knew they could come to me to talk, ask LGBT+ related questions, get help, and know that I wouldn’t judge. My area was a designated safe space.



Let me finish by saying that I want to help people because, once upon a time, I was in a terrible, dark place in my life with no support system. Someone took the time, reached out, and worked with me. She believed in me. She didn't let me give up on myself during a period when I could have easily spiraled out of control. Because of her, I can handle life and its stresses better than ever before. Next time someone makes your day better, pass it on. It really does make a difference.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cisgaze and Nonbinary Exclusion

Yesterday, I saw a re-post of a chalkboard sign that was taken outside of a bookstore. It listed “Women + Books News,” which included a list of female authors in SFF. I was thrilled. One of my favorite authors scored a well-earned seven-figure deal with TOR. An author from my agency won her second Hugo back-to-back. But then…my heart sank and I heard that evil dysphoric voice whispering in my ear:
This will never include you. You’re non-binary trans*.
I don’t fit.
It would be easy to have lists say “Female and Non-Binary Authors.” However, the cisgaze means cis people don't think about these things. They don't think about us, the third genders. I'm not saying this solely for my comfort. More young people are identifying under the non-binary umbrella. We need to set an example for teens and young adults and provide a safe environment where they can express their gender without fear of exclusion. I personally want to set an example for my younger readers. It's a challenge t…
Post a Comment
Read more

Nonbinary Biases

Soon, I’ll have to get a new passport. In the United States, I am not allowed to declare my nonbinary gender on legal documents, or any forms, to be honest. It’s all binary—male or female. My trans* binary friends can have their gender markers changes to reflect their correct gender, but I am not afforded this privilege. I, simply put, am not recognized.

Like so many, I am misgendered on a daily basis. I go into the streets, plastered in buttons and laced with necklaces that declare my pronouns to be they/them and my ID as genderqueer. My armor, meant to protect, fails me. The voices echo, chanting, “Ma’am,” “Miss,” “she/her,” like bells I cannot silence.

My brain screams for me to correct them. Tell them who you are. That comes at the high cost of possibly being assaulted or having to give an entire lecture on what the f— I am. A person. I want to be a person, devoid of your gender biases, your expectations wrapped up in pink and blue ribbons. I am purple, white, and green. I am a mu…
1 comment
Read more

BAD BOY Revisited

Now that I'm out as a genderqueer person, I'm revisiting my review of BAD BOY by Elliot Wake to give content and trigger warnings for other folks. This is a trans book that contains detailed descriptions of what it means to transition from female to male written by someone who has undergone the process. If you aren't comfortable reading about these details, walk away. If you feel this might be too voyeuristic for you, walk away. If it will bring up to many thoughts or feelings of dysphoria, walk away. If hearing about TERFs and non-trans acceptance by family and friends is harmful to you, walk away. This book was influential in my life, but that's because I was in the right mindset to read it. I'm usually the one doing the vetting for others. I can handle a lot. I can handle dark and angry. If you can't, there's no problem in that. Take care of yourself and put this one aside.

If you have issues with any of the following, please reconsider reading this book …
Post a Comment
Read more