Skip to main content

Marriage and Becoming a New Person. What doesn't have to be left behind.

Recently, I had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine. She and I have known each other since we were 13. We've gone through some difficult times on both ends of our relationship, which turned long-distance, together. My plans before meeting the future husband were simple, I wanted to go for my Master's of Fine Arts in Creative Writing- the MFA. Education was the most important thing to me. It was the only thing to me. What else did I have to care about? A family that kept me around for co-dependency? Friends that were going down their own paths? My old way of life was slowly strangling me. I was dying.

Then, circumstances lined up and I found him- the One. Let the harps play and the lights shine. Within two weeks, we knew we were going to get married. It's been over two years now. We have less than 9 months until the wedding. Happiness explodes inside of me everytime I think about the big day. Yet, I had this gnawing in the back of my brain. What about all of those dreams, Dill? Do they just flutter away?


During our conversation, my friend reminded me that being married is almost like having a child. You have this second person you have to consider for the rest of your life. Your decisions are no longer are your own. If I want to go back to school, I have to think about the Future Husband, our pet rabbit, our house, our money, and his job as well as mine. There's no more freedom to just get up at go.

Instead of brooding over it, I did what we always do, talked to FH about it. I asked him what he'd think about me applying for MFA programs next year (after the wedding). I proposed the option of low-residency programs that I'd be allowed to complete mostly online. There would be two weeks each year that I'd need to travel to the campus for workshops. Then, there are the full-residency programs, which could also come with full funding. I will apply to the Iowa Writer's Workshop, which is the best in the country. I doubt they'd accept me as one of their 30 incoming grads. You have to hope.

FH's answer was simple, if this is what I want, then we will make it work. We might have to spend some time apart if I decide to go full-residency. I would be taking on more loans (boo). He'd have to get another job. Tech and IT aren't exactly sparse fields. We'd find something to do with the house and bring lil Panda Bear with us! I don't have to give up my dreams. He doesn't want me to. The point was made; no matter what we do or where we go, we are together no matter what.

Now that's what marriage is all about.



Comments

  1. I've told you before and I'll say it again - your attitude towards marriage is admirable, and something that I wish many others shared.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review: JERKBAIT by Mia Siegert

Jerkbait by Mia Siegert
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

JERKBAIT is a gripping and beautifully written story that starts off strong and doesn’t let go until the final epilogue. Even then, you’ll be in tears, wishing it didn’t end. Mia Siegert granted me a copy of the Audible audiobook, which I highly recommend everyone check out. I loved it so much that I immediately downloaded the Kindle e-book from Amazon.

I’m a huge fan of LGBTQ+ books that aren’t strictly “issue books.” Mia Siegert takes LGBTQ+ themes, brings them to light, but makes the novel about so much more than the issues of homophobia and coming out. JERKBAIT deals with racism, predators, first loves, gay stereotypes, homophobia in sports, targeted bullying, fake friends, parental pressure to succeed, sibling rivalry, and so much more.

I’d been walking unnoticed in Robbie’s flattened path ever since. Those fourteen minutes stayed between us like a wall. Me on the side with the shadow. I didn’t have to think about him except when th…

22 nonbinary creators you need to keep an eye out for

I'm thankful to be featured in a Cultress article about nonbinary creators! Cellie knows my love of all things pickles. Pickles and circuses, that's my signature!

22 nonbinary creators you need to keep an eye out for

I'm most known for the unreleased "circus book," pitched as Cirque du Soleil with magic and an all-queer, international cast. I also make it a point to include at least three pronouns and genders in each book and actively include disabled characters like myself.

The list also includes Mia Sieger, author of Jerkbait, who is my agency sibling and bigender. We've become CP (critique partners) and fast friends since I signed. My agent is her agent's agent. See how that works?
Thank you to Cultress, article author Ceillie Simkiss, and everyone involved with Nonbinary November #nbnovember for spreading some nonbinary love!

Book Review: Black Iris by Elliot Wake

Black Iris by Leah Raeder
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Dear Reader, if you’re searching for a story about a down-and-out little queer girl coming-of-age and blossoming as she discovers her sexuality in college, then look somewhere else. This is not the candy-coated New Adult love story for you. BLACK IRIS isn’t a love story. It’s a revenge story. And it’s about the girl who took charge and got exactly what she wanted. But maybe what she wanted just wasn’t enough.


BLACK IRIS takes place over alternating timelines, which are meticulously crafted to the point of perfection. They switch between Laney Keating’s senior year of high school to her freshman year of college. At college, she meets Blythe McKinney and Armin Farhoudi, two upperclassmen who know the ins and outs of the club scene at Umbra. We see how the trio first meets and how the relationship boundaries are drawn. You’re left questioning throughout the novel if the relationships are real or empty. Do these people care about each other…